I have a friend who is on Heroin. It never occurred to me that the name also means the feminine hero. What a strange name for a drug. But, drugs are strange. She was a missionary. She taught the gospel. She lived a pure life. She has tons of friends and loves life. Heroin is threatening to take away all the things that are important in life. She has a real good friend. My wife. They were companions and served will all their heart, might, mind and strength. Right now she needs to do that more than anything to fight Heroin. How sad. How unbelievably unfortunate. Heroin never quits. Once it has you, it won't ever let go. All a person can do (in my humble, educated opinion) is grow stronger than the addiction.
What is a hero? A hero is someone who is stronger and needed in a time of weakness or vulnerability. What is Heroin? Its a life sucking villain that eats your fabric of sanity away with each barrier you try to shield yourself from it.
I'm so sad. She was brilliant last night as we had Family Home Evening. She was laughing and looked like a lot of fun but I know on the inside there was this beast, that couldn't wait to get her away from her loving friends and punish her soul by stretching the hole that heroin has punched. This beast is Satan. I feel no need to differentiate the two- Heroin and Satan. For they are one in purpose- to ravish and destroy all that is sacred and good in your life and replace it with an unquenchable fire of despair and pain.
Tonight my friend is in withdrawals. I can see on her face that these are not simple cravings. The look on her face says she is drowning, burning, choking, crying, dying, stinging, harrowing and losing. Why did she fall? That doesn't matter. All that matters is how we're going to catch her. We love her. I imagine God thinking the same things about our (although minor in comparison but gigantic when compared to divinity) missteps and tumbles. He probably sees the future of our behavior on a scale more defined then we ever could and it penetrates His heart all the more. "If only they'd look to the Savior" He says. If only we'd look to the arms that are continually stretched forth before us. Then we'd understand.
Its no use to condemn the sins of others unless we can help the sinner. What do we gain by the sins of others? There is not a clean conscience in the convicting of another. There is not time for the blame game if you love them. Its not a time to point fingers but to stretch out hands in love and friendship. As we strive to help others, we are bettering ourselves. As we try to blame others, we are only diminishing ourselves. I don't blame my friend for doing drugs, although it would've been easier for her if she didn't, but that doesn't matter now that she is on the ropes and getting kidnapped by her addiction. I don't wish to walk away with clean hands and a cold shoulder. Think of the parables the Savior taught- How many good samaritans were there? Just one, out of how many that just passed the dying soul on the ground? Or what about the Prodigal son, whose father welcomed him home from running away, with open arms? In both cases, the person who was righteous didn't care how or why the person was in the condition they were in. They only thought to love and restore them to life. Is it not the same with God? Is it not the same with you?
The thing that most amazes me about this whole ordeal is that my friend ran away for so long from dealing with the addiction. When we run away from a problem, we feed the problem. She has tried so many times before and lost everytime. The addiction whipped her butt. It will continue to whip her butt. But, she has decided to face it. Its going to keep beating her but she can be sustained, she can endure and she will triumph. She will. Heroin has only got her physically. Tonight, she showed that it doesn't quite have her spiritually, because she has faced the biggest opponent that everybody has to fight sooner or later- PRIDE. If we let pride grow it will be all the harder to knock out but if we continue to humble ourselves we won't have to wait until our whole life is on the line to keep pride in it's place.
Her name isn't important because we all are similar to her in this battle. We all have to face our pride and our sins. Its the same fight. Its easier to win if we decide to train for it beforehand. If we wait till its too late we might not make it. I know my friend will make it. She is a hero. A real heroine.
Update: After a few more ravenous events and hardships she has gone through rehab and by all accounts is getting better everyday.
