The difference between true prophets and salesmen is that true prophets aren't trying to sell you but give you something and salesmen are just trying to take your money away.
You cannot buy what true prophets want to give you.
20.4.10
18.4.10
Things I learned at church today
Those that seek power in robes of false priesthoods are constant and always have been. Costly apparel was the first major fall of the people in the Book of Mormon. We must seek refuge from this idolatrous behavior by remembering our endowments come from God and not the power of the pride of the world.
Also we must seek refuge in the Lord from the evils of wasting our times and feeding our egos on the addictions found in online escapes such as pornography or constant social networking. The seemingly anonymity from the Internet fools us into thinking our actions have no consequence and we are merely doing harmless activities.
DC 59:13
“…that thy fasting may be perfect, or in other words, that thy joy may be full.”
Be faithful to the end. When we do not spoil our blessings, we have more joy in them. Being pure lets us be filled with purity.
Watch without jealousy the diminishing influence you have as those that followed you now follow what influenced you. Like John the Baptist.
All love is an act of mercy unless it is to God. As we love others, we love God. But our friends and neighbors, enemies and acquaintances are imperfect and cannot fully live up to our expectations but our love must be extended nonetheless as an act of mercy. With that mercy will God give us mercy.
Don’t fear men, they’re ever changing. Fear God and nothing will separate you from loving others. Ask yourself: Who do you wish to please? God, others or yourself?
Give up that which you think God would see as a sacrifice. The things of the world that make you think you need to be are what stops you from being, as in social acceptance, fancy clothes, media, new toys, etc. These things actually constrain your true being. By giving up your so called life you’ll have a real life. Give up your loves and you’ll make room for greater loves. Let it be. Let your heart be open, not holding or controlling. Give, give, give and you’ll live, live, live.
That which is closed is dark and that which is open is bright.
How do you know when the silver is refined completely? When I see my image in it.
Theres a barrier between the educated/experienced and the ignorant which can only be broken by education and experience.
Your pride must lose, you must lose your pride. You must let others be lifted up for you to be upheld by God
The works of our hands are secondary to the works of God’s hands
Fashion, social networks, jobs, possessions, labels often give us roles and thus rules in our identity. We try to fit ourselves into these little boxes often mislabeled “Self Expression” and “Identity” but we are more than all these things. We are not our jobs or our facebook profiles. Who we are goes deeper and the car we drive is just something in our lives but isn’t the measure of who we are in God’s eyes. The fight for possessions is a war that doesn’t need us. We have an opportunity to truly live by our means and not for means. We should forget these boxes and seek the joy of being a part of something greater called the universe and not be condemned to the rules and boxes of video games or shopping.
Its okay to be thought of the fool sometimes. We often kill ourselves trying to prove ourselves to others, as if we need the approval of others to know who we are. Its impossible to view ourselves let alone others and let alone others viewing you for who we truly are. We don’t have that view. Only God does. If we succumb to having to be expressed in every single facet of life from every person, then we will spend a lot of time being very shallow trying to convince others of who we are and loving us without every actually loving ourselves or others. Don’t waste time proving your identity but spend your time getting to know others and loving them and then will we know as we are known and see as we are seen. True connections lay in the loving others more than trying to be loved by others.
You are not what you own but what you do, feel, and know.
The good things you do will never let you down but fashion, selfishness, and vanity will always let you down.
God will always support you if you seek His approval but Satan won’t and can’t support you.
Love + High expectations = Best Outcome
Love-High expectations = Complacent and lazy
No Love and No Expectations = Disaster
High Expectations – Love = Rebellion
This table shows how we can often find best results by giving high expectations and lots of love. But keep in mind people ultimately will decide what they will do and there is no way to change that.
Does what you know square with what you do? If it doesn’t then you’re knowledge is just for entertainment and a waste.
God wants to bless us as much as possible but our agency needs to be exercised so we can receive it. Ask and you shall receive. We must continually Ask, Seek, and Knock because we must be continually receiving to grow.
Content is king. Not any style. Substance beats style with God.
If the first thing you do is pray then you’re consecrating your works to God and thus allows Him to give you grace sufficient enough for them to be accepted. The rest will be added that’s needed in order to complete the task if we just ask.
God looks at the heart.
Also we must seek refuge in the Lord from the evils of wasting our times and feeding our egos on the addictions found in online escapes such as pornography or constant social networking. The seemingly anonymity from the Internet fools us into thinking our actions have no consequence and we are merely doing harmless activities.
DC 59:13
“…that thy fasting may be perfect, or in other words, that thy joy may be full.”
Be faithful to the end. When we do not spoil our blessings, we have more joy in them. Being pure lets us be filled with purity.
Watch without jealousy the diminishing influence you have as those that followed you now follow what influenced you. Like John the Baptist.
All love is an act of mercy unless it is to God. As we love others, we love God. But our friends and neighbors, enemies and acquaintances are imperfect and cannot fully live up to our expectations but our love must be extended nonetheless as an act of mercy. With that mercy will God give us mercy.
Don’t fear men, they’re ever changing. Fear God and nothing will separate you from loving others. Ask yourself: Who do you wish to please? God, others or yourself?
Give up that which you think God would see as a sacrifice. The things of the world that make you think you need to be are what stops you from being, as in social acceptance, fancy clothes, media, new toys, etc. These things actually constrain your true being. By giving up your so called life you’ll have a real life. Give up your loves and you’ll make room for greater loves. Let it be. Let your heart be open, not holding or controlling. Give, give, give and you’ll live, live, live.
That which is closed is dark and that which is open is bright.
How do you know when the silver is refined completely? When I see my image in it.
Theres a barrier between the educated/experienced and the ignorant which can only be broken by education and experience.
Your pride must lose, you must lose your pride. You must let others be lifted up for you to be upheld by God
The works of our hands are secondary to the works of God’s hands
Fashion, social networks, jobs, possessions, labels often give us roles and thus rules in our identity. We try to fit ourselves into these little boxes often mislabeled “Self Expression” and “Identity” but we are more than all these things. We are not our jobs or our facebook profiles. Who we are goes deeper and the car we drive is just something in our lives but isn’t the measure of who we are in God’s eyes. The fight for possessions is a war that doesn’t need us. We have an opportunity to truly live by our means and not for means. We should forget these boxes and seek the joy of being a part of something greater called the universe and not be condemned to the rules and boxes of video games or shopping.
Its okay to be thought of the fool sometimes. We often kill ourselves trying to prove ourselves to others, as if we need the approval of others to know who we are. Its impossible to view ourselves let alone others and let alone others viewing you for who we truly are. We don’t have that view. Only God does. If we succumb to having to be expressed in every single facet of life from every person, then we will spend a lot of time being very shallow trying to convince others of who we are and loving us without every actually loving ourselves or others. Don’t waste time proving your identity but spend your time getting to know others and loving them and then will we know as we are known and see as we are seen. True connections lay in the loving others more than trying to be loved by others.
You are not what you own but what you do, feel, and know.
The good things you do will never let you down but fashion, selfishness, and vanity will always let you down.
God will always support you if you seek His approval but Satan won’t and can’t support you.
Love + High expectations = Best Outcome
Love-High expectations = Complacent and lazy
No Love and No Expectations = Disaster
High Expectations – Love = Rebellion
This table shows how we can often find best results by giving high expectations and lots of love. But keep in mind people ultimately will decide what they will do and there is no way to change that.
Does what you know square with what you do? If it doesn’t then you’re knowledge is just for entertainment and a waste.
God wants to bless us as much as possible but our agency needs to be exercised so we can receive it. Ask and you shall receive. We must continually Ask, Seek, and Knock because we must be continually receiving to grow.
Content is king. Not any style. Substance beats style with God.
If the first thing you do is pray then you’re consecrating your works to God and thus allows Him to give you grace sufficient enough for them to be accepted. The rest will be added that’s needed in order to complete the task if we just ask.
God looks at the heart.
Expectations
Expectations from God can lead one to either more faith or less. The Lord tells us "Ask and you shall receive." We have an invitation to expect a lot from God. Constantly He is reassuring us that He knows and that He can help us. He is begging us for high expectations. Of course this is a two way street. He has tremendous expectations for us as well. He expects us to listen to Him and do what He says. Thats when He will fulfill His promises.
A lot of people have that disillusionment when they feel they've given everything and yet their expectations are unfulfilled.
A number of reasons this happens.
-Alma 32:21
And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
It dictates that true faith must be in things that are true. At times expectations of can be a faith in things that are not true and thus cannot be fulfilled. In order to have faith they must be in true things. If we have unrealistic expectations then of course they won't come to pass for us. We must be humble in our expectations
-Moroni 7:8-11
For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.
And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.
Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift.
For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he cannot be a servant of the devil.
I think this scripture definitely sums it up. We cannot expect to receive a true gift from God without giving a true gift to God.
-Perhaps all the more what happens is we just don't know how to receive the great things God has in store for us. Its possible that we have been given what we wanted but just don't realize it. Often the Lord works in His own way and has certain specifications upon what He has for us.
-Its possible what we asked for isn't really what we wanted.
If I had more time I'd probably be able to come up with more but one things I've learned today at church is that the Lord has a million ways to teach us a million things if we have but a humble heart.
I know we can put our expectations on God and thus on ourselves just as if we're honest with God we'll be honest with ourselves and realize the great things that are in store for those who love God.
A lot of people have that disillusionment when they feel they've given everything and yet their expectations are unfulfilled.
A number of reasons this happens.
-Alma 32:21
And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
It dictates that true faith must be in things that are true. At times expectations of can be a faith in things that are not true and thus cannot be fulfilled. In order to have faith they must be in true things. If we have unrealistic expectations then of course they won't come to pass for us. We must be humble in our expectations
-Moroni 7:8-11
For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.
And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.
Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift.
For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he cannot be a servant of the devil.
I think this scripture definitely sums it up. We cannot expect to receive a true gift from God without giving a true gift to God.
-Perhaps all the more what happens is we just don't know how to receive the great things God has in store for us. Its possible that we have been given what we wanted but just don't realize it. Often the Lord works in His own way and has certain specifications upon what He has for us.
-Its possible what we asked for isn't really what we wanted.
If I had more time I'd probably be able to come up with more but one things I've learned today at church is that the Lord has a million ways to teach us a million things if we have but a humble heart.
I know we can put our expectations on God and thus on ourselves just as if we're honest with God we'll be honest with ourselves and realize the great things that are in store for those who love God.
4.4.10
Far More Amazing Than We Can Even Conceive
I never really thought about how important patience is. Joseph Smith once said "Patience is heavenly", which to me is usually just the opposite. But, Joseph understood that great things come to those who are diligently patient on the Lord. Diligently, because patience is not just waiting, but actively doing all you can for the Lord and then leaving it up to the Lord. Its an act of faith, hope, and love.
"If ye love me, keep my commandments."
John 14: 15
"But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
1 Corinthians 2:9
Indulgence is often the pitfall and downfall of many. Indulging and not exercising control of appetites leads to destruction and slavery to our souls. Smoking, overeating, laziness, despairing, pornography, drugs, overly negative, easily angered, shirking responsibilities, the list goes on and on and giving in to these wants and weaknesses erodes our independence from them, slowly losing our freedoms.
The Lord has a better way. He teaches us to avoid self serving dangerous indulgences so as to help us remain in control of our choices. How often do we find people wanting to quit these indulgences later on in life and finding themselves engulfed in some very strong chains that are unwilling to be loosed?
The Lord's better way is through keeping His commandments, being patient on the Lord. In doing this we show our trust for Him. Dependence on Him means being freed from and freedom from sin. Only He can loosen these chains and remove the stains of sin from our souls. This is possible because He suffered for our sins, so that the price we would pay, would be upon Him. He overcame death both spiritually and physically in order to allow us to return to having the presence of God in our lives. We cannot know what happiness and joy that is till we start stepping in that direction.
I can testify that I have felt the incredible presence of God in my life by keeping the commandments and there is so much joy/peace/love/strength/hope/happiness/wisdom/insight (the list goes on and on) that comes from it. He is able to deliver us in ways we cannot fully understand at the present. As that scripture in Corinthians illustrates; when we keep the commandments things don't just work out, but are far more amazing than we can even conceive.
"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love."
John 15: 10
"If ye love me, keep my commandments."
John 14: 15
"But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
1 Corinthians 2:9
Indulgence is often the pitfall and downfall of many. Indulging and not exercising control of appetites leads to destruction and slavery to our souls. Smoking, overeating, laziness, despairing, pornography, drugs, overly negative, easily angered, shirking responsibilities, the list goes on and on and giving in to these wants and weaknesses erodes our independence from them, slowly losing our freedoms.
The Lord has a better way. He teaches us to avoid self serving dangerous indulgences so as to help us remain in control of our choices. How often do we find people wanting to quit these indulgences later on in life and finding themselves engulfed in some very strong chains that are unwilling to be loosed?
The Lord's better way is through keeping His commandments, being patient on the Lord. In doing this we show our trust for Him. Dependence on Him means being freed from and freedom from sin. Only He can loosen these chains and remove the stains of sin from our souls. This is possible because He suffered for our sins, so that the price we would pay, would be upon Him. He overcame death both spiritually and physically in order to allow us to return to having the presence of God in our lives. We cannot know what happiness and joy that is till we start stepping in that direction.
I can testify that I have felt the incredible presence of God in my life by keeping the commandments and there is so much joy/peace/love/strength/hope/happiness/wisdom/insight (the list goes on and on) that comes from it. He is able to deliver us in ways we cannot fully understand at the present. As that scripture in Corinthians illustrates; when we keep the commandments things don't just work out, but are far more amazing than we can even conceive.
"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love."
John 15: 10
17.3.10
Remember God the Artist
"Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." -Matthew 7:20
I think the best way to know an artist is by their art. The greatest Artist of all of course is God. Think of all the beautiful images there are in the world; the landscapes, the forests, the beaches, the moon, stars, sunsets, the animals, the heights, rivers, and mountains. I believe by studying the art of any artist is the greatest way to gain insight to the creator of the art and it is the same with God and His works.
As the Creator of the physical world God is also the Creator of the spiritual world. By our faith in Him, He can move mountains in us. He gives His mercy and love that can shape our worlds if we let Him. From the experiences I had of helping people in my mission to the blessings I have in my own life, I can see that the fruits of God are many and His hand is the crafter of all the things that are good.
"For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God." -Alma 5:40
There is a lot of disease, destruction, disasters, wars and terrible things in the world. Many of these are the results of disobeying God's commandments. A lot are also natural consequences. Plenty are also just trials given to us to learn from or to get us to turn our hearts over to God.
"And the Lord God said unto me: They shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in remembrance of me; and inasmuch as they will not remember me, and hearken unto my words, they shall scourge them even unto destruction." -2 Nephi 5:25
"Therefore, as they were unfaithful they did not prosper nor progress in their journey, but were driven back, and incurred the displeasure of God upon them; and therefore they were smitten with famine and sore afflictions, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty." -Mosiah 1:17
Remember our Heavenly Father has plenty of tools to shape the landscape and our lives and all of them are out of love for us. Only He can give us that beauty that we seek for in our lives. He is the greatest Artist of all and if you look with a pure heart, to the good things in the world, you will see Him.
"...and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." -Alma 30:44
"Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8
I think the best way to know an artist is by their art. The greatest Artist of all of course is God. Think of all the beautiful images there are in the world; the landscapes, the forests, the beaches, the moon, stars, sunsets, the animals, the heights, rivers, and mountains. I believe by studying the art of any artist is the greatest way to gain insight to the creator of the art and it is the same with God and His works.
As the Creator of the physical world God is also the Creator of the spiritual world. By our faith in Him, He can move mountains in us. He gives His mercy and love that can shape our worlds if we let Him. From the experiences I had of helping people in my mission to the blessings I have in my own life, I can see that the fruits of God are many and His hand is the crafter of all the things that are good.
"For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God." -Alma 5:40
There is a lot of disease, destruction, disasters, wars and terrible things in the world. Many of these are the results of disobeying God's commandments. A lot are also natural consequences. Plenty are also just trials given to us to learn from or to get us to turn our hearts over to God.
"And the Lord God said unto me: They shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in remembrance of me; and inasmuch as they will not remember me, and hearken unto my words, they shall scourge them even unto destruction." -2 Nephi 5:25
"Therefore, as they were unfaithful they did not prosper nor progress in their journey, but were driven back, and incurred the displeasure of God upon them; and therefore they were smitten with famine and sore afflictions, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty." -Mosiah 1:17
Remember our Heavenly Father has plenty of tools to shape the landscape and our lives and all of them are out of love for us. Only He can give us that beauty that we seek for in our lives. He is the greatest Artist of all and if you look with a pure heart, to the good things in the world, you will see Him.
"...and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." -Alma 30:44
"Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8
7.3.10
Joseph
Joseph Smith. I don't know everything about this man. I know he was a prophet. I am inclined to think the best prophet the American continent has ever known.
The things Joseph did are insurmountable to really put into a single blog, but John Taylor once summarized it in a single sentence "Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it." D&C 135:3
My faith in Jesus Christ is through Joseph Smith's work and calling. I know the Lord because of Joseph Smith. That is what a prophet does; shows us the way to God. I love Joseph Smith for the persistence he showed throughout his life. John Taylor goes on-
In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. D&C 135:3
He did many more acts of kindness and patience. He gave people so much hope and love toward each other and to God. He shined a light on Christianity and gave it back to God by the power of communication between God and man. I love him.
Often times Mormons are criticized for making too much of Joseph. I don't think we make enough of him. I think Joseph shows us that we can achieve so many great things if we exhibit an astounding amount of never failing faith and love for God. He was taught and humbled by God. He was murdered by a mob and died for the work of Jesus Christ.
He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated!
The things Joseph did are insurmountable to really put into a single blog, but John Taylor once summarized it in a single sentence "Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it." D&C 135:3
My faith in Jesus Christ is through Joseph Smith's work and calling. I know the Lord because of Joseph Smith. That is what a prophet does; shows us the way to God. I love Joseph Smith for the persistence he showed throughout his life. John Taylor goes on-
In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. D&C 135:3
He did many more acts of kindness and patience. He gave people so much hope and love toward each other and to God. He shined a light on Christianity and gave it back to God by the power of communication between God and man. I love him.
Often times Mormons are criticized for making too much of Joseph. I don't think we make enough of him. I think Joseph shows us that we can achieve so many great things if we exhibit an astounding amount of never failing faith and love for God. He was taught and humbled by God. He was murdered by a mob and died for the work of Jesus Christ.
He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated!
1.3.10
Death
Death. Lately I’ve been debating on whether or not to write this. I think mainly because its such an encompassing subject that brings out strong emotions.
I went to see one grampa knowing my other grampa had passed away. The still living grampa, grampa Jensen, is on my mother’s side and he has a short time. Upon entering his blue painted room I could see a skinny man that I was told was my grampa. He looked like he had a sculpted frown on his face and his eyes never looked so black and beedy. It was hard to place him with the boisterous, attention loving old man I knew that had tried out for the New York Yankees in his youth and kept a field of apple trees the majority of his adulthood. We slowly entered and timidly began to place this scene in our minds as who our grampa had become. First while he didn’t speak and grandma just would hug and kiss him telling him we’re here and proclaiming her love for her now frail counterpart.
Its heartbreaking to see change. We’re always changing. Each second that comes along means that the one before it has gone and with it a little bit of ourselves, we’ll forever be linked into that second.
My grampa who has passed, Grampa Boyer is now at the cemetery. Its one thing to see someone asleep in a hospital and its another to see them in a coffin and watch the coffin shut. I saw my grandma pay respects to her husband alone while the family mingled.
My dad gave a talk about some of the things his dad had taught him.
“If you ever get a chance to see a man wrestle a bear; take it.” His other brothers spoke of things that carried on in their hearts of who they grew up knowing as their dad. He went to a lot of yard sales, he was a farmer in Iowa and then moved to Utah, he converted to Mormonism, he was kind and very humble. My wife sang the hymn “Be Still, My Soul” and then my uncle began his talk on the Plan of Salvation. “Its not suppose to be easy, that’s what makes it great” he said with tears, respect, and love for the God of the living. Of all the things I’ve felt and heard I think they all were summarized in the words of the hymn “God be with you, till we meet again”. In the church I go to they sang that hymn and all the images of my grampas ran through my head as well as my own mortality. The speaker just before singing that said “Live in the now, the now is all we have, enjoy the journey, enjoy the trials.”
Strange that the only other times I’ve dealt with death have only been dogs.
My grampa Jensen had on a Yankees hat. He started to talk a bit more after he drank what must’ve been a pint of cold water. “My teeth hurt” he said. “Must be that cold cold water” said my mom. “I love it” he said and we started to laugh. “You still got your sense of humor” said grandma. “Humor but no sense” he said. “Looks like you put on some weight here” said grandma. “Wouldn’t be hard” he said in regards to the slim trimmed man he had become. “You know what Bess? I feel like I’m losing my mind”
Our eyes teared up and we gave our goodbyes. Good bye coming from the saying “God be with you”. I took a secret picture with my cell phone, trying to make sense of what I was seeing and keep an image of my grampa reserved. Someday I’ll be in that place.
Often times growing up I would be so sad and start to cry if my mom went to the store and didn’t come back right away. I would imagine scenarios of not seeing her again. My dad had a heart attack about 9 years ago that could’ve killed him. I think about losing them and I don’t know why other than because I love them so I’m trying to reserve that deep feeling in my heart. Its too easy to take things for granted.
At the hospital I saw a sign that said “You are the key to the past, present and future” on the wall. In the church we talk of linking families forever in a chain of souls that live with Heavenly Father. We have temples that do “work for the dead” as we say which means baptisms, covenants, ordinances, promises, sealings, endowments, initiatories, and that all means that we swear our souls to God. We often think of the temple as the holiest ground, the most peaceful dwelling, the mountain of the Lord. It’s a beautiful place and it all has that substantative feeling of living for the dead, doing what others cannot, and being in place of another. All to prepare for returning to the presence of our Heavenly Father so that we can live together in happiness, even though we sometimes struggle with that now.
Growing up I never thought that one day I would review all the experiences of being with one person. The present has a way of insulating itself from the realization that it will soon be the past. My memories of my grampas have always been mostly the holidays, weddings, or some event on the calendars that give us a reason to get together. I wish I could have had more memories that had no obligatory excuse for seeing them other than just loving them and wanting to be with them. Seems like its easy for us to fall into that mindset of needing a calendar to tell us when its okay to visit or give presents. That’s very sad.
How do you deal with death? We do all the time without knowing it. We pass through time, saying goodbye to the past. Time is a train that never stops. We just get off from time to time and say good bye. Then more people get on and the train keeps moving.
I went to see one grampa knowing my other grampa had passed away. The still living grampa, grampa Jensen, is on my mother’s side and he has a short time. Upon entering his blue painted room I could see a skinny man that I was told was my grampa. He looked like he had a sculpted frown on his face and his eyes never looked so black and beedy. It was hard to place him with the boisterous, attention loving old man I knew that had tried out for the New York Yankees in his youth and kept a field of apple trees the majority of his adulthood. We slowly entered and timidly began to place this scene in our minds as who our grampa had become. First while he didn’t speak and grandma just would hug and kiss him telling him we’re here and proclaiming her love for her now frail counterpart.
Its heartbreaking to see change. We’re always changing. Each second that comes along means that the one before it has gone and with it a little bit of ourselves, we’ll forever be linked into that second.
My grampa who has passed, Grampa Boyer is now at the cemetery. Its one thing to see someone asleep in a hospital and its another to see them in a coffin and watch the coffin shut. I saw my grandma pay respects to her husband alone while the family mingled.
My dad gave a talk about some of the things his dad had taught him.
“If you ever get a chance to see a man wrestle a bear; take it.” His other brothers spoke of things that carried on in their hearts of who they grew up knowing as their dad. He went to a lot of yard sales, he was a farmer in Iowa and then moved to Utah, he converted to Mormonism, he was kind and very humble. My wife sang the hymn “Be Still, My Soul” and then my uncle began his talk on the Plan of Salvation. “Its not suppose to be easy, that’s what makes it great” he said with tears, respect, and love for the God of the living. Of all the things I’ve felt and heard I think they all were summarized in the words of the hymn “God be with you, till we meet again”. In the church I go to they sang that hymn and all the images of my grampas ran through my head as well as my own mortality. The speaker just before singing that said “Live in the now, the now is all we have, enjoy the journey, enjoy the trials.”
Strange that the only other times I’ve dealt with death have only been dogs.
My grampa Jensen had on a Yankees hat. He started to talk a bit more after he drank what must’ve been a pint of cold water. “My teeth hurt” he said. “Must be that cold cold water” said my mom. “I love it” he said and we started to laugh. “You still got your sense of humor” said grandma. “Humor but no sense” he said. “Looks like you put on some weight here” said grandma. “Wouldn’t be hard” he said in regards to the slim trimmed man he had become. “You know what Bess? I feel like I’m losing my mind”
Our eyes teared up and we gave our goodbyes. Good bye coming from the saying “God be with you”. I took a secret picture with my cell phone, trying to make sense of what I was seeing and keep an image of my grampa reserved. Someday I’ll be in that place.
Often times growing up I would be so sad and start to cry if my mom went to the store and didn’t come back right away. I would imagine scenarios of not seeing her again. My dad had a heart attack about 9 years ago that could’ve killed him. I think about losing them and I don’t know why other than because I love them so I’m trying to reserve that deep feeling in my heart. Its too easy to take things for granted.
At the hospital I saw a sign that said “You are the key to the past, present and future” on the wall. In the church we talk of linking families forever in a chain of souls that live with Heavenly Father. We have temples that do “work for the dead” as we say which means baptisms, covenants, ordinances, promises, sealings, endowments, initiatories, and that all means that we swear our souls to God. We often think of the temple as the holiest ground, the most peaceful dwelling, the mountain of the Lord. It’s a beautiful place and it all has that substantative feeling of living for the dead, doing what others cannot, and being in place of another. All to prepare for returning to the presence of our Heavenly Father so that we can live together in happiness, even though we sometimes struggle with that now.
Growing up I never thought that one day I would review all the experiences of being with one person. The present has a way of insulating itself from the realization that it will soon be the past. My memories of my grampas have always been mostly the holidays, weddings, or some event on the calendars that give us a reason to get together. I wish I could have had more memories that had no obligatory excuse for seeing them other than just loving them and wanting to be with them. Seems like its easy for us to fall into that mindset of needing a calendar to tell us when its okay to visit or give presents. That’s very sad.
How do you deal with death? We do all the time without knowing it. We pass through time, saying goodbye to the past. Time is a train that never stops. We just get off from time to time and say good bye. Then more people get on and the train keeps moving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)