We have a realm of responsibility. When we try to control things outside of that realm we fall from firm ground. The Alcoholics Anonymous members have a prayer called the Serenity prayer that says:
"God, Give us the grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed, Courage
to change the things which should be changed,
And the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."
The distinction of when to follow and when to lead is essential for us to gain so that we may not stretch ourselves too thin or too little. We shouldn't try to control too much and we shouldn't be irresponsible over too little. But the question is how do we know what is within our power and what is not only out of our reach but none of our business?
My wife and I live in an apartment downtown. We had a neighbor move in 2 months after we did. We got along good with him and frequently had chats as we saw him walking his dogs. Then we began to smell smoke in our apartment daily. We told the manager of this and they talked to our neighbor. We also started hearing loud music and yelling from our neighbor after hours and have often been woken up by him in the night. One night we felt it necessary to call the cops. Since then we have had a hard time feeling comfortable in that apartment. He frequently mocks us as he walks by our place and lulls us into arguments about his behavior. We now are trying to get him evicted and/or move away. Right now our management is looking into this and how to best quell the situation. We're very upset.
Now, our responsibility isn't to try and control our neighbor's choices in life. But, we do have a responsibility to make sure that our boundaries are respected. Our neighbor has crossed the line of our privacy. Once he has done that then it is in our responsibility to make sure he follows the rules which are affecting us. He must follow and we must lead. If we were the ones who cause the offense then we must learn to follow the rules. We have taken steps to ensure his irresponsible behavior is dealt with by contacting authorities such as our landlords, the police, and possibly a lawyer. It would be inappropriate and crossing the line for us to reach beyond the laws and take matters into our own hands and try to physically kick him out ourselves. We must follow the laws and policies of the authorities. They must lead and we must follow. We cannot overstep our bounds and think to run the system on the whim of our own personal feelings. That would be out of our realm of responsibility. We must leave it up to the authorities to deal with this by the law and if they fail then we must do what we can to make sure our boundaries aren't disrespected. That might mean moving away or appealing to higher authorities. A church history example of this would be when the saints crossed the plains from the East to settle in the West to escape the persecution. First the saints appealed to the government by the laws of freedom of religion and the right to live safely but we're ignored.
I think an easy answer to the question of when to follow and when to lead would be to follow the Holy Ghost's promptings. Often thats not easy when our thoughts, wants, or feelings cloud our judgment. It is God's realms of responsibility to answer us when we ask with real intent. But, it is our realm of responsibility to not overstep our boundaries in what we are asking. He says "Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you; and if ye ask anything that is not expedient for you, it shall turn unto your condemnation” DC 88:64-65.
Often we must pray to God for an answer or help. Often we must act and follow the laws of the land and of God. Often God is giving us a chance to grow by the adversity of dealing with those who overstep their boundaries, offend us, mock, or challenge us. It is our responsibility to return good for evil. It is our opportunity to forgive and have patience. It is our time to follow God and lead our way to Him when all falls against us. We must always follow the Lord. We must always lead ourselves away from the harm of evil.
